Are harder than others. That's all there is to it. I still can't get what happened out of my head. He cheated. The entire relationship was a mistake, worse yet it was a lie. It's so hard to know that I was in love with someone who doesn't even exist. To know that when someone said he loved you, he didn't mean it because he had someone else on the side. I finally was feeling so much better about myself and I wasn't enough for someone. It hurts so bad. Talk about a huge blow to the self esteem. He cheated...the worst part it was with someone I thought was my friend. Ha. Friend, yeah awesome friend. Whatever I guess. I don't understand why tonight is so much harder than all the other nights for the past two months. Maybe it's because that was my first relationship and it crashed and burned. I feel like an idiot. All the signs were there and I totally ignored them. Bah. At least I realized he wasn't what I wanted before it was too late, right? I hate him. I hate him for wasting my time. I hate him for making it hard to let anyone else in. I hate him for being the first person that I said I love you to. I hate him for saying it back to me and not meaning a word of it. I hate that part of me is still in love with the person I thought he was. I hate it. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. Maybe one day I'll understand why in the world it had to happen this way.
Oh well....life goes on.
On a positive note I found out I can text on my iPad!