....insert foot. Seems I've done this a lot in the past 2 days. I truly feel like I hurt someone I care a lot about in the process. So this is my apology. I'm not great at saying sorry, but I'll give it my best effort.
You know who you are,
I'm sorry I'm an idiot and bring things up at the worst possible time. I'm sorry I'm demanding. I'm sorry I'm a brat. I'm sorry I pushed you...a whole lot in the past few days. I finally worked up enough nerve to tell you exactly how I felt and you threw me a curve ball. I didn't handle it the way I should have. I know that now. I said a lot of things I shouldn't have said. I'm a jerk. It's probably too late to say this, but it's only fair you know. I care a whole lot about you. I think about you all the time. I love talking to you. When I hear your voice, I smile like some crazy idiot. When I see that you took time out of your study session or lost marathon to reply to whatever dumb thing I said..it makes me so happy. I hated hearing about other people who held your attention, but I have no right to be mad. You respected me and the space I thought I needed. For that I'm grateful. You were the very best friend I could have ever asked for. You listened. Most boys don't do that. For that, as well, I'm grateful. You're different from any boy I've ever met. It took me a long time to realize that. Longer than it should have. I should have told you as soon as I figured it out. Instead of waiting a month because I was terrified of what you would say. I don't handle emotions or feelings like this very well...as you've learned by now. I wasn't the greatest friend earlier. Instead of responding with something positive about what was happening in your life...I was selfish. I'm so sorry. I do not want to lose you in any way. If you're happy, I'm happy for you. I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry for the way I acted and conducted myself. It isn't like me to respond like a jealous lunatic. I guess what it all boils down to is I'm sorry for being a really big idiot and if the offer of friends still stands...I'd like to take you up on that.